Can't Get You Out Of My Head
by rcf1989
Summary: Sharon Raydor's back in LA after the Christmas holidays. However, she has a very powerful reason to think she's been either drugged or losing her mind as she's having a very strange hallucination.
1. Chapter 1

**A/U. This is something really random and can easily fall into the 'insanity' category as well, not to mention this qualifies as crossover and yet I'm only posting in under _The Closer_. I don't even know where this may go or what will happen as the only idea I got this morning at the hospital was doing this weird _The Closer/BSG_ crossover with Sharon Raydor and Laura Roslin, or better said Head!Laura - if you're a _BSG_ fan then you know this stands/works for Baltar whenever he was hallucinating about Head!Six and viceversa as example. Like I said, I don't even know what to do with this so this chapter works as some kind of set up and if you guys like it I'll write another chapter; yes, for once, it will depend on what you think of it to go on or just leave it here.**

**Oh, I almost forgot! Originally, _The Closer_'s S6 finale were both Christmas episodes but before airing the schedule was changed and for this story I'm sticking to the original plan and this starts after the Christmas holidays or like Sharon said 'I'd be gone for weeks', right after that, first day back in LA.  
**

* * *

It was the first day after the Christmas holidays and she was going back to work. Monday, and she never really liked Mondays but oddly she missed the daily routine. Yes, she did love spending time with her family as her parents and kids meant everything to her and everyone who knew her well enough knew she'd choose her family over her career if the need or situation ever came along. After all, all you truly have to count in is your family, that is something always there for you.

As the alarm went off, she woke up and quickly made her way to the bathroom. A hot shower was enough to make her feel like new; as she washed her hair, she made a mental list of what she had to do that day and although she had a busy day ahead doing evaluations and handling them by the end of the day, as long as she didn't have to cross paths with certain woman it would be just the perfect start. Fifteen minutes later she was done in the shower, so she stepped out as she put on her bathrobe and then wrapped her hair in a towel; seeing as the steam had taken its tool on the mirror, she picked the nightgown she wore to sleep the night before, as she was gona throw it later to the washing machine anyway, and cleaned the mirror. However, as soon as she was done cleaning she was shocked as not only it was the mirror reflecting her but also someone else, standing probably just two feet away from her, looking exactly like her. Turning around, she was alone again.

"My mind's playing tricks on me." She murmured to herself.

Leaving the bathroom and making her way back to her bedroom, even if the bathroom was connected to the bedroom, she couldn't stop thinking about what she had just seen. That woman looked just like her but different at the same time. Her hair was different, both style and color; it was sorter than hers and the couple of seconds she had seen her, it seemed cooper-ish but she wasn't sure. And her eyes, they were the same but that... What was it? Some kind of ghost? Well whatever it was, those eyes were the same but they also seemed cold and distant, hurting even like if she was hiding something that was killing her inside. Whatever it was, caught her attention.

Back in her room, she made her way straight into her walk-in closet to choose her outfit. It was raining and she was in no mood for a skirt or dress, so she picked her favorite Armini pin-stripe pant suit, white blouse and black heels. One of her classic outfits. Laying her clothes on a chair next to her bed, she made the bed and then started to get dressed; as she was reaching for her shoes, she saw that woman again, this time sitting on the chair her clothes were laid on just mere minutes ago. This time, the woman wasn't looking at her as she was clearly checking out the room she was in at the moment; not thinking it twice, she reached for her gun, hidden in a drawer in her nightstand, she pulled it out already loaded and pointed at that mysteious clon of hers sitting on the chair.

"Who are you?" She asked.

"My, don't you even recognize yourself?" The other woman asked back, still looking around the room.

"Myself? You're not... Me! It doesn't make sense."

"Why?" She turned at then noticed the gun pointed at her. "You know it is not really a good idea to point at someone with a gun."

"Really? Let's see... You broke into my house, strangely look just like me and you have the guts to tell me this is not a good idea? For all I know, which is nothing, you may as well be here to kill me."

"And pretend to live your life?" She laughed. "No, no, I wasn't sent here for that. My only purpose is helping you."

"Help me?" Chuckling, she pulled the gun down. "Clearly you're only here to help me going crazy."

"If anyone sees you talking to yourself like this, then yes they'll think you're crazy."

"No one else can see you?"

"No, Sharon, you're the only one. Like I said, I was sent to help you."

Sharon's eyes widened. "How do you know my name? And who sent you here?"

"Let's say when you're someone's past life you tend to know about what you do and who you are in the next one."

"You're trying to tell me I was you years ago?" Sharon asked and it didn't make any sense at all.

"Yes, over 150,000 years ago you were known as Laura Roslin, President of the Twelve Colonies and lead humanity, with the help of others, to this planet." She explained as she stood and walked over to where Sharon was standing. "And, yes, I'm Laura."

"Wait a second here. You're trying to tell me humanity now lives here because of... Us?" Sharon asked, pointing with her hand first at Laura and then at herself. Laura just nodded. "I'm sorry but I just don't believe it. I know my subconcious can be quite full of myself at times, but clearly this one wins by far."

"This is not your subconcious, Sharon. You're awake, therefore only your concious is the only part of your brain, what makes you rational, that is working."

Sharon raised her eyebrow. "Were you a teacher or something?"

Laura smiled. "Yes, before getting in politics. Then Secretary of Education and after most of our race was wiped out, the President."

"Yes, very full of myself." Sharon muttered and made her way back to the bathroom to do her hair and make up.

Not really knowing why, Sharon decided to let her hair in its natural wavy shape instead of straighening it just like usual, and she was quite glad with the result by the time she was done with it. Later on, she applied make up in the usual tones she used just because it looked natural and she didn't feel like experimenting so early in the morning. After cleaning, quickly, the bathroom she made her way back to her room to put on her shoes and blazer and yet that Laura was still in her room, this time sitting on her bed.

"Are you planning on spending the day here?" Sharon asked as she put on her shoes.

"If it was just for a day... Clearly, you don't listen when people talk to you. I told you I'm here to help you." Laura said trying not to sound irritated.

"Yes, because a part of my subconcious is manifesting in this sort of clone really full of myself saying I was some kind of wolrd president eons ago and I'm the only one who can see you." Sharon was really irritated now. "Look, whoever you are and whatever you're trying to do... Leave it, go back to wherever you came from because the least I need is everyone thinking I'm losing my marbles!"

"I'm afraid I cannot go back until I'm done here with you, Raydor."

"Ah now we're on last names? Fine, Roslin, that's perfect. Do whatever your presidential ass feels like doing because right now I have to go to work." Sharon said, storming into her walk-in closet again to grab her black trench coat and purse.

Making her way downstairs, she decided she'd stop in Starbucks to grab a cup of coffee because she could bare spending another minute at home. It was too obvious someone had either drugged her to make her have those hallucinations or the simple fact she was just going crazy. At least, it wasn't raining at the moment which is good so she quickly unlocked her car, stepped in, fastened her seat felt and placed her purse in the passenger's seat. And damned was the time she decided to look to her right as that damn Laura Roslin, the woman no one but Sharon could see was now in her car checking whatever she had in her purse. She always hated Mondays, and now she had yet another reason: annoying way over the top hallucinations following her everywhere.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/U. And here I am, another chapter in this insanity. The first chapter was just to test waters, to see if people would be interested or not and turns out you guys are! Not just here but in other places as well; I already have a full plot and a few subplots for this so it'll be fun.**

* * *

Sharon could hear, perfectly, how that so called helper, Laura, was still placing back inside the contents of her purse. The brunette wasn't happy about that and the redhead certainly didn't care about what her current and present life felt like in her presence. Sharon had to do a job, but so did Laura whether her current version wanted her help or not; she felt lonely, no one she knew was there, not even for support, making it almost as hard as when she was alive and nobody trusted her as President at first.

"I can only guess I'll meet some of your friends and co-workers today." Laura said.

Silence.

"You know, I don't bite. You can talk to me." Laura spoke again and silence took over them again.

"Gods, what's your problem, Sharon?" Laura couldn't hide her irritation anymore, as after all, she was used to get the attention she wanted all the time. "Trying to ignore me is not going to help you."

And Sharon kept ignoring her, sort of.

"You are not real. You're just a manifestation of my subconcious trying to make me feel guilty for whatever reason and that is why you seem to be there but you're not." Sharon said to herself as she was parking the car near a Starbucks.

"Where are you going?" Laura asked as Sharon stepped out of the car and locked it. Of course, she could go anywhere she wanted but decided it was best to wait in the car.

Thankfully, Sharon remembered to take her purse with her or she'd have to go back to the car and face that... Thing, woman, hallucination... Whatever manifestation it may be. It was driving her crazy, of all days, it had to be that day when that Laura had to show up in her life. She had to stop thinking about that or she'd still be there when she returned with not one but two cups of coffee; Sharon really needed that double dose to fully wake up and make her subconcious and all its tricks go away.

As she was waiting to make her order, her stomach growled and Sharon then remembered she didn't even have breakfast so when it was finally her turned her order two frappuccinos and a cranberry orange scone. Waiting for her order, she then got why that manifestation of her subconcious, because it just had to be that and nothing else, had that name. Laura. It was her middle name, and she sometimes longed to use it instead of Sharon, not that she didn't like her given name, but just for change it would be a nice one. Another proof it was just her mind playing tricks on her.

Making her way back to the car, purse under her arm and breakfast in hand though she wouldn't enjoy it until she was in her office, Sharon couldn't help smirking as she eyed Laura still in her car.

"Ah, you also brought coffee for me. How sweet." Laura said as soon as Sharon got into the car.

"In your dreams, honey. Touch it, or the scone, and you're dead."

"I'm already dead, so what's the difference?"

Sharon laughed and Laura then slapped her arm. "The hell was that for?" Sharon asked, shocked at that reaction.

"It's not nice to laugh at dead people, young lady."

"Young lady? What are you, my great great great great and so on mother?"

"I didn't have children, so no I am not. But we're still related, I was your past life just like you are my current one."

Sharon rolled her eyes and started the engine. "Look, Laura, you're just a proyection of my subconcious and it all makes sense. Laura's my middle name and sometimes I wanted to use it instead of Sharon. As a teen I liked politics but as I grew up I didn't get into that because I thought my bitching skills could be used for the better putting people behind bars, or making sure a cop acted like he or she had to do. And while I was in high school, I helped some of my classmates with their homework or improve their grades, and so sort of teach them."

"You must be so proud of yourself with that theory." Laura said shaking her head. "The sooner you accept the truth the better. I'll be able to help you, and go back to where I belong, and then you'll get rid of me."

"So you don't want to be here?"

"It's not about if I want to be here, it's been sent here without warning nor letting know those close to me I'll be gone for a while."

"What, my mind would do something to you for showing up sooner than expected?"

And now it was Laura the one who remained silent; she was not going to dignify that question with an answer nor she would put up with such insolence so early in the morning. Had it been back in the Colonies and no one would've dared to talk to her like that... Well, maybe Bill at first when they met or when he was drunk but that was it. Others could hate or disrespect her but no one did it the way Sharon did.

They remain silent, if not ignoring each other, all the way to the parking lot which was three blocks away from the LAPD building. No one really liked that they all had to walk that much, except for the Chief of course, but it was what they had to do. Although some complained about that, or the new building itself. As they walked into the lobby, Laura took into her surroundings but she wasn't really surprised, it was familiar to Caprica but different at the same time. Walking into the elevator, Laura noticed a man joined them.

"Who is he?" Laura asked.

"Chief Pope... I see we all are back to our usual world, eh?" Sharon said, answering both Laura's question and knowing it would piss off her boss.

"Ah, Captain Raydor. As sweet as usual, I see." Pope sarcastically said.

"And how said I was trying be mean? I was only implying I'm back just like you're not longer covering up for Chief Delk, and so back to Assitant Chief. I was merely stating a fact."

Laura couldn't help smirking at that and as Sharon looked at her briefly, she smirked as well knowing her boss was now annoyed for the rest of the day. However, the lif stopped and the doors slid open and so Sharon left followed by Laura though it was still like if she was alone for everyone else.

As Sharon reached her office, greeting all her officers in her way and so introducing them to Laura without making it obvious, she finally opened her office's door and if they could collide, then both redhead and brunette would've done it.

"Who is that blonde? And why is she here?" Laura asked.

"Chief... Johnson! What... What are you doing here?" Sharon asked, finally recovering from that surprise and quickly walked to her desk, setting down the coffees and the scone.

"Oh, good morning Captain." Brenda said smiling. "I didn't hear you coming in."

"I figured, and yet you haven't answered my question."

"Well, we need you in the Murder Room and I thought I'd tell you myself."

"She's lying." Laura whispered as she was now standing behind Sharon.

"Ah, and instead of calling me like usual you wait for me, in my office?" Sharon said walking around her desk and sat down in her chair. "Somehow, I don't believe that."

"Are you insinuating I'm lying?" Brenda asked, pretending to be irritated.

"Didn't you lie to your parents presenting me as your friend?" Sharon fired back.

"I-I-I... Just be in the murder room in twenty minutes, Captain."

"Yes, ma'am." Sharon said mockingly just as Brenda left her office.

"I don't like her neither trust her." Laura said sitting in a chair across the desk.

"And she was just trying to be nice." Sharon chuckled as she grab one of the coffee cups.

"Sweet southern lying bell, am I right?"

"Well, she's one of the best liars in the country, except when she has to lie to her family. Then she's awful." She said and took a sip of her coffee. "Just what I needed."

Laura then reached for the other cup and took a sip as well. "It's really good."She said and then noticed the cup. "Starbucks?" She asked laughing.

"I had no idea you could... You know, drink... But if you could turn my purse upside down I don't see why not." Sighing, Sharon reached for the scone but then stopped as her clone was laughing. "I'm sorry but I can't see what's so funny about Starbucks."

Although she was still giggling, Laura tried to calm down to explain it. "One of the best pilots in the fleet... Kara... Her call sign... Starbuck, her call sign was Starbuck!" Laura bursted into giggles again.

Shaking her head, Sharon took another sip of her coffee and ate the scone. She then finished her coffee and stood, grabbing the other cup from Laura's hand.

"What? I'm going to need something in case I feel like throwing it to the Chief."

"I could always airlock her." Laura offered trying to sound innocently.

"Airlock her?" Sharon was confused.

"Yes, you know what an airlock is right?" Sharon nodded slighty. "Well, it was a way we had to execute prisioners or traitors after the war, when we were up in the space trying to find Earth."

"You're kidding!" Sharon's eyes widened, somewhat terrified at what she had been told.

"Do I look like I'm kidding?"

Rolling her eyes, Sharon left her office and Laura followed her again, just because she didn't want to miss why they needed the brunette upstairs. This time, they took the stairs as Sharon was just dreading whatever the Chief needed her for, in case she needed her for anything. As they finally reached the right floor, Sharon used her key to open the door and walked in; afterwards she walked into the murder room to find it empty.

"What in the name...?" Was Sharon saying mostly to herself as she then hear a loud 'surprise' across the room and she turned around to find all of Major Crimes, Commander Taylor, Agent Howard and even Chief Pope; and yet the most strange sight of all was Chief Johnson holding a cake, they all then walking closer to her.

"What's going on here?" Both Sharon and Laura asked at the same time.

"I told you she wasn't in the mood for celebration." Pope said to Brenda and she just ignored him.

"What do you think it's going on, Sharon?" Brenda asked.

"To be honest, I have no idea."

"Happy day, we have a cake... And you still have no idea?" Pope asked.

"Considering the _love_ I feel when I'm in this department you all may as well have planned smashing it all over my face."

"And I thought people didn't respect me as President." Laura murmured.

Sharon then turned her head to a side pretending to tuck her hair behind her ear to whisper. "Only if you knew..."

"Told you, she works so much she can't remember anything anymore." Flynn said making them laugh.

"My memory's just fine, Lieutenant." Sharon snapped at him.

"We all just thought..." Brenda started saying but everyone looked at her so she started all over again. "Okay, okay. I thought it would be nice to celebrate a little your birthday and we all got a cake."

"My... Birthday?" Sharon asked, the coffee cup she was holding dangerously shaking.

"Oh seems like the old Captain doesn't like to celebrate as years pass by." Cracked Provenza.

"I have no problem admiting I'm turning fifty-nine in APRIL!" Sharon yelled at the end, mentioning the month just as she threw the cup angrily into the bin.

"April? But in your file says..." Brenda was shocked at the brunette's reaction.

"Ignore what my file says, Brenda. Today's an important day but there is nothing to celebrate. Absolutely nothing."

"Why is it important if there's nothing to celebrate?" The blonde asked.

"Because ten years ago my then husband almost killed me. I was kidnapped for three days, beaten the crap out of me and in the last day when he was about to shot me I fought with him and the gun went off, killing him. The bullet got stuck in his brain, and there was nothing to do, brain dead by the time the paramedics and police arrived."

Brenda handed the cake to Fritz and walked as fast as she could towards the Captain and pulled her into a hug, though it wasn't an easy task as the brunette kept trying to back off and she finally succeeded walking out of the murder room.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/U. This damn chapter took me more than I planned, so it comes over two days late, and also if there are more typos than usual please forgive me, but paresthesia decided it was a good time to frak me over and part of my left hand is quite numb and/or hurts if I move it.**

* * *

After the outburst, as everyone considered the confession as such and even more so when that poor and innocent cup of coffee was thrown into the bin, everyone in the murder room was shocked.

Brenda was still standing at the spot she was when she tried to hug Sharon, while the rest of her team, Fritz, Taylor and Pope were at the back. The situation was getting awkward by the minute, and as Flynn and Provenza glanced at each other...

"Hey, Chief, are still going to eat the cake?" Flynn asked.

Turning around, Brenda crossed her arms. "How can you be more concerned about that cake than Captain Raydor?"

"I don't think we need to answer that." Said Provenza, knowing what could come out of Flynn's mouth if given the chance.

"No, you don't." Brenda said as she walked towards them and took the cake from Fritz's hand. "Like you all made me say, I bought it myself for her and she's the one who'll get it."

"So we pretend to be all happy buddies and we don't even get cake? What's next, asking her out for dinner?" Flynn said more sarcastically this time.

"Now, that is a very lovely idea Lieutenant." Brenda said looking at him.

"Oh come on, Chief, it was a joke!" Exclaimed Flynn.

"We'll let Captain Raydor decide that, don't you think gentlemen?" She asked looking at them all, and they were trying not to laugh.

"Chief, maybe this time we let him get away with it but you know, next time he makes the joke we then make him ask out Raydor." Provenza suggested, trying to save his friend the trouble.

Sighing, Brenda gave in. "Alright, this time only, Lieutenants." She said and then made her way to Sharon's office, but before that she grabbed her purse in case she needed anything.

Like usual, Brenda couldn't find her card so she muttered to herself, almost cursing, her inability to find anything in that purse no matter how much she tried to persuade anyone she could find anything she wanted anytime. As she was searching again in her purse for the card, the door opened and as Brenda looked up to thank whoever had opened it she was a bit shocked.

"I told you that purse is not a good idea." Sharon said, still holding the door for Brenda.

The blonde then rolled her eyes as she walked in. "It is practical when you carry with you as much as me."

"Except cakes, it seems." Sharon said a bit annoyed seeing the cake.

"Well I got this one for you so I just..." Brenda stopped talked as the brunette raised a hand.

"Save it. Do whatever you want with it, I don't want it."

Sharon then turned around and started to walk back to her office, just as Brenda huffed and hurried to follow her though she couldn't run not only because she was carrying the cake but also because she didn't want anyone in the department to think something odd, in case they weren't already when they saw her with the chocolate cake in hand. Just as the blonde reached the Captain's office, the door closed in her face, making her mutter her already traditional _'oh, that woman!' _just like any other time the brunette was exasperating her. With her free hand, Brenda opened the door and stepped into the office she had never been in before; it was as big as hers but it clearly had the Captain's touch no matter where you were looking at. As she closed the door behind her, the Chief approached the desk and laid there the cake not saying a word as she perfectly saw the brunette was avoiding her, sat on her chair behind her desk as she quickly swirled on it so that no one could see her.

Brenda was a bit lost and confused about what she had to do. Should she talk to her... Eh... Friend? She wasn't even sure anymore as what they stood anymore, except that they were getting along better than when they first met which certainly was an improvement, not to mention she introduced her as her friend to her parents and they considered her as one, especially her mother. Still pondering what to do, she then noticed a small notepad on the desk, so she reached for it and took one of the pens on the desk and quickly wrote a note, afterwards ripping the piece off paper of the notebook and laid it next to the cake before making her way out of the office.

Hearing the door closing, Sharon turned around so that she was now facing her desk to find that damn cake on her desk. Sighing she looked around and noticed she was alone, no Laura in sight, which somehow was good as all the Captain wanted was to be alone. Glancing at the cake once more, Sharon noticed there was nothing written on it which was good, thinking she could later just call in her team for a piece of cake to celebrate the new year courtesy of Major Crimes. As she was about to reach for her files to do the evaluations, Sharon then saw the note next to the cake; picking it up she read it...

_Sharon,_

_I am really sorry about what happened ten years ago, as well as finding out the way I did. I know we're not really friends, even if my parents think so, and I know it's my fault just like mama calling you on New Year's Eve using my cell. What I'm trying to say is I'm here if you want to talk someday, or maybe we could really go out for that working lunch you suggested? I really don't mind, just let me know._

_Brenda Leigh_

A small smile formed in Sharon's lips after she read the note; it was true they weren't really friends but at times it seemed like they could one day even if it also was highly impossible. Sharon then decided to keep the note and folded it before introducing it in a pocket in her jacket; afterwards she pushed the cake to the furthest corner in her desk so it wouldn't bother her while she worked.

The day passed by rather quickly, so much the brunette didn't know she should get going until one of the members of her team informed her they were all going home as they had finished their reports. Luckily for her, she had just finished her last evaluation so all she had to do before going home was dropping them in the superintendent's office and then she was free to go. She didn't need to hand them until the following week but she liked to do things ahead of time, in case they got a new case and couldn't finish them on time.

Thankfully the ride back home was quiet, and the brunette was still alone. No sight of that redhead, maybe she had just gone as quickly as she appeared? Sharon had no idea but she certainly didn't miss her because that woman was driving her crazy.

Walking in, the smell coming from the kitchen overwhelmed her and guessed Christine, her eldest daughter, had made dinner as all the kids were at home. Calling out, saying she was home, her four kids rushed to the hall to greet her; they all knew what day it was and what it meant, which made them stick together even more than usual as a family. Ten years ago they almost lost her, and although it saddened them losing their father except for Christine as she never liked him, they all were glad to have their mother who was just so different at home than from her working persona.

After a quick chat of how their days had gone, Sharon made her way upstairs to change into something more comfortable and then she'd join them all for dinner. However, as she walked in her mood changed, completely.

"You again?" Sharon asked as she closed the door, not wanting her kids to hear her talking to... Well, herself as it was clear no one but her could see that woman.

"And here I was hoping you missed me." Laura said, sat on the bed like she did that morning.

"I just thought you were gone. That's all."

"And I only thought you needed time alone and so I took that to wander around the city and then observe your kids."

"How could you wander around? I mean..."

Laura smiled. "I can go anywhere I want it seems, at will. Except where I belong to."

Sharon just nodded and made her way to her walk-in closet to change her clothes.

"Yout kids are really polite, nice and at times a bit silly."

"You say that because the twins still play tricks on Billy?" Sharon asked, as William, or Billy like they all called him in the family, was the youngest.

Laura froze as she heard the name. "Billy..." She whispered.

Stepping out of the walk-in closet, Sharon noticed the redhead in deep thought.

"What's wrong?"

"No-nothing just..." Sighing, Laura stood and walked across the room. "After the Colonies were wiped out, my aide was Billy Keikeya and after a few months he was just like the son I never had. Sadly, he was killed after been taken hostage."

Sharon then felt a pang in her stomach, moved by what just Laura had told her. "I'm sorry you lost him, Laura."

"Don't be, I wasn't his mother after all." She said, rather coldly as she turned to face the brunette.

"But you felt like it, and that's what matters. I'm guesing here he lost his family?" Laura nodded. "Then he probably saw you as mother figure when you weren't bossing him around as President."

Laura chuckled. "This sounds to me like you're starting to believe in me and not just think of me part of your vivid imagination."

"I don't know, maybe you really existed or maybe it's my mind really proving I'm losing it after all these years. And yet you seem real but no one else can see you; you have no idea how frustrating this is."

"This must be how Baltar felt whenever he was seeing Six and talking to him." Laura said.

"Baltar? Six? What are you talking about?" To say Sharon was confused was quite the understatement.

"I'll tell you that another day, but there is something you need to know."

"I'm all ears."

"I heard your kids talking; Christine mentioned you told her over Christmas you had found something and she was worried, so are now all of them."

"Damn it, I should't have told her." Sharon muttered.

"No, you did good telling her. And she was right, you should have it checked."

"Why? It's nothing, it's just some fat, it'll go away."

"Listen to me, Sharon. I thought the same and I let it go for too long and then it was too late. Don't make the same mistake as me."

"Wha-what are you talking about?" Sharon was still shocked.

"You know what I'm talking and refering to, so please, do it. Better safe than sorry. If you don't want to do it for yourself, do it for them."

Before Sharon could say a word, she heard Billy calling for her as the table was already set so she simply left her room and joined her children for dinner, Laura words in mind repeating again and again.


	4. Chapter 4

It was three in the morning when her phone rang, waking her up and that didn't make her happy nor nice at all. It wasn't because of the time it was, no, it was because she had only managed to fall asleep an hour earlier.

"Raydor." She barked on the phone, not caring about who it was.

"Hello, Captain."

Sharon growled. If her companion had been driving her nuts for hours, now this. "Uhm... Chief Johnson... What do I owe this call and being woken up so early?"

"Figured you weren't a morning person..."

"Morning person? It's still dark outside!"

"No need to get upset."

"Either you tell me why you called within five seconds or I swear you're going to swallow this phone as soon as I see you."

Sharon wasn't a violent woman, she never was, but when someone got in her nerves she could threat... No, not threat she hated threats, she'd merely state a fact about to happen when someone pissed her off a lot, like Brenda in that moment.

"We got a new case, and by we I mean both Major Crimes and FID."

"Oh God."

"I know how you feel about that, but I just thought I should call you myself. Detective Gabriel called me a few minutes ago and..."

"Why are you so nice?"

"Pardon me?"

"Why are you so nice, Brenda? That whole... Situation with the cake, calling me on New Year's Eve..."

"It was mama the one who called you, and I-I don't know, can't we just try to get along? And you were nice with me first!"

"Easy now, I don't want a fight while I'm still in bed. And I guess we could but shall we leave the try outs until we're done with the case?"

"Alright. I'll send you the location by email with a map."

"You know how to do that with your phone now?"

"Sharon! Must you always tease me with that? But yes, I finally learnt how last week."

"Fine then, send it to me and I'll see you there." Sharon then hung up the phone and switched on the light.

"Awake so soon?" Laura asked.

Sharon almost jumped from her bed. "Must you always do that?"

"Do what, stick around to look after you?"

"Creep me out! You and Brenda will drive me nuts by the end of the month which is quite close." Pulling the covers back, Sharon stood. "If you don't mind, and honestly I don't care if you do right now, I have to go to work."

"Going to work now? Isn't that a bit... Odd?"

"And that comes from a former president? Didn't you have crisis of some sort during your term?"

"Day and night. I guess I tend to forget about that nowadays."

"Well then think of this as a crisis with a 72-hour schedule, as within that time I have to be done with my investigation to proof if the officer acted as he or she should've or not."

"So you'll be a wreck for three days."

"Don't you catch things up quickly." Sharon snapped and then looked at the redhead. "Look, I still don't know what you are... Or why I'm the only one who can see you or if I'm just going crazy; I got just an hour of sleep, I'm going to be stressed and probably I'll get mean if things don't go my way."

"I get it, I know how stressful it can be, believe me." As she was sitting on the bed, Laura got up and made her way towards the door. "I'll be quiet and wait in the car. This is new, for me, so I'd like to see what you do... If I may."

"Oh-uh... Sure, just eh... Wait in the car."

Sharon was confused, her well what was she after all? Mind playing tricks on her? Insanity? Spirit? Guide? Ghost? Angel? Past life? Whatever Laura was, although at some point they seemed to agree Laura and Sharon were the same but one in the past and the other in the present, just asked her for permission to see her in her element and that's something you don't get everyday. At least the woman was polite.

Taking a quick shower, and not giving a damn about make-up at that time, Sharon wrapped herself in a towel and rushed over to her walk-in closet. Thankfully it wasn't cold so she grabbed a black sleveless dress and her light blue blazer, as well as her black pumps. Dressed in what seemed record time, she grabbed her purse and made her way downstairs to the kitchen; if she wanted to be as human as possible, which meant sociable in her case, she needed a strong cup of coffee before leaving.

"Sneaking out to a super secret meeting?"

Sharon almost spat the coffee she was drinking and quickly turned around.

"Christine! How many times do I have to tell you not to do that?"

Christine was giggling. "Mom... You're so funny... You should see your face!"

"Sshh! You're going to wake up your siblings." Sharon hissed to her eldest daughter. "And you can be as quiet as your father."

"You always say that..."

Placing the mug on the counter, Sharon walked towards her daughter and took her hands in hers. "If he met you, I'm sure he'd be proud of you. I know I am."

"Will I ever meet him?" Christine hardly ever let it show how much not knowing her father affected her, and only Sharon knew about that.

"You know I've tried to contact him for years and then he got married... But if there's one thing I'll do before I die is finding your father. You both deserve to meet and know each other."

"Mom, don't talk like that. I know you want to find him, for both of us."

"And I will, sooner or later. And if he's still married or has children I don't give a damn about what his family may think. You are his family, too."

In an odd reaction coming from Christine, she pulled her mother into a tight hug and leaned her head over her shoulder. Sharon was surprised as her eldest child wasn't really into displays of affection but when she did either she was really happy or she needed it, and it was one of those cases in which she needed it so like a good mother she hugged her daughter and rubbed her back before they pulled away.

"New case and I have to go. I'd rather spend the night awake with you telling you stories about your father than dealing with Major Crimes."

"D'oh, southern blondie striking back?" Christine was now grinning.

"Don't call her that. But yes, she even called me. Anyway, I'll try to be back for breakfast before your siblings leave."

"Mom, we're not six year olds."

"But you may as well behave like it. If I can't make it just make sure..."

"They all eat their breakfast and Billy has his bag packed so he doesn't have to come back home before training."

"What would I do without you?" Sharon said before kissing her daughter's cheek and then finished her coffee.

"Go and kick the blondie and her team's ass."

Shaking her head as she saw the smirk on her daughter's face, Sharon finally left. Checking her phone as she made her way to her car, she finally got the email Chief Johnson told her about and the brunette was surprised her superior officer had indeed got it right. As soon as she was in her car, she placed her purse in the back and pulled out of the driveway.

It took her, them as Laura was in the car like she said she would, twenty minutes to arrive and there was quite a crowd there already. Parking her car, she quickly told the redhead to keep it quiet, no questions while they were there but she was free to ask once they were alone again. Knowing she didn't have much of a choice, Laura nodded and then they stepped out of her car.

The crime scene was already an ugly mix of Major Crimes and FID, both teams trying to take over the case, stepping all over the way. Luckily for them, Sharon somewhat cornered her team so they could brief her in before she really made her way into the main scene.

Two dead civilians, another one was harmed and already taken to the hospital and the officer who had discharged his weapon, still at the scene considering he knew what would happen if he fled. So all she had were 72 hours, two dead bodies, a witness and an officer who may have gone happy trigger pulling that night.

Approaching the ambulance, as the officer was waiting on it for some reasons still unknown to the brunette, she was joined by Brenda. They were silent as they walked but unlike other times it wasn't an uncomfortable silence, and neither of them knew if it was good or bad, nor did Laura know who was walking next to Sharon and like she agreed to, as quiet as possible.

Sergeant Anderson was out of duty, so he had gone to a nearby bar and had a few drinks; upon testing him, it was proved his alcohol level doubled the legal one to drive, and as he had driven over the now scene it was bad, and considering he had discharged his weapon made it even worse. Neither Brenda nor Sharon could do anything with him until he was sobered up, and their only witness was in the hospital so for now the interrogation and fights over who goes in first had to wait.

However, not everything was calm as their teams were arguing over who took which evidence with them. Walking toward their teams, they stood between them to avoid the argument getting into a fist fight. Seeing as they were being ignored, somewhere in the back of her mind it seemed like a good idea and Sharon went for it as climbed to the roof of the nearest car, ignoring she was wearing dress and so making it harder but she succeeded. As soon as everyone noticed where she stood they all shut down.

"About time." She snapped and then as gracefully as she could climbed down.

"Didn't know you liked to do that." Brenda murmured as the brunette stood next to her again.

"If I can climb trees with stilettos to make my kids go down, I may as well climb a car to shut them up." Sharon said looking at Brenda who almost started to laugh at the mind picture.

As they had everyone's attention, both Chief and Captain started to assign different tasks to their teams, and ordered in both cases to give the same information to both teams. At the moment, FID was taking care of ballistics and collecting any other evidence at the scene, whereas Major Crimes would investigate the victims and witness and notify the families, as well as investigate the officer but first they needed FID to do a background check in Sergeant Anderson. As everyone had their task assigned, Brenda and Provenza were heading back to the HQ to identify the victims just like Sharon was going to check Anderson's records.

An hour after she had arrived, Sharon made her way to the ninth floor as that was where Major Crimes was. Walking into the murder room, she found there both Provenza and Brenda trying to identify the victims and witness.

"Chief?"

Brenda looked up from the desk and removed her glasses. "Back so soon, Captain?"

"Yes, I'm afraid I have to grace you and Lieutenant Provenza with my presence again." Sharon said, half serious and half joking.

"So what do you have for us?" Brenda asked.

"Anderson's clean. Not a single compaint or investigation since he joined the police." Sharon said and handed Brenda the file. "Nothing, up to know he was just a model cop."

"The most perfect they are, the rotten they are." Provenza said and both women looked at him. "What? I'm just saying something must've made him snap to ruin his perfect behaviour."

Sharon decided to change the subject before they started to argue. "Did you identify anyone yet?"

"No, so far we got shots of the three of them and we're waiting for an ID. Dr Morales will perform the autopsy in a few hours and our witness will be here as soon as he's discharged." Brenda explained and then handed the brunette the three photos.

Sharon took them and took a minute to look at each of them, but as she looked at the third one she felt like someone had stabbed her, like she was no longer able to breathe. It just couldn' be him, or could it? She hadn't seen him in so long and yet she was so sure it was him, the eyes were the same and his face... Clearly he had aged and gained some weight over the years, but she now didn't know if he was dead or alive.


	5. Chapter 5

"I've seen those eyes before." Laura whispered into Sharon's ear, making the brunette tense, freezing in her spot. "Mmmh, they're unforgettable. I can recognize that blue anywhere, anytime."

"Captain?" Brenda asked as she noticed the reaction in the brunette. "Captain Raydor? Are you alright?" She asked again, as the woman before her seemed to be far away. "Oh for heaven sake's, Sharon!"

Blinking twice, as if coming out from a trance Sharon looked up at the blonde, her mind still spinning. "I-I'm sorry, Chief. My mind's elsewhere."

"Yes, I can see that."

"I think I'm gonna grab a cup of coffee, that'll keep me awake." She said, trying to smile as well. "Shall I bring anything to either of you?"

Provenza and Brenda looked at each other, the same quizzical looks in their faces, surprised by the Captain's sudden niceness.

"Coffee would be nice, Captain." Brenda said, taking that chance to maybe, hopefully, figure out what froze the older woman.

Nodding, Sharon turned around to walk away from the murder room to the kitchenette to prepare the coffee, Laura following her closely. As soon as they were alone, the brunette faced the redhead.

"What part of keeping it quiet don't you understand?" Sharon hissed.

"Oh I grasped the meaning, thank you for doubting my intelligence." Laura said rolling her eyes. "And we both know you know him."

"So what if I do?"

"Shouldn't you be telling that to your boss?"

"Brenda's not my boss." Sharon said, reaching for the mugs and then she remembered the words Laura whispered and something clicked in her mind, making her turn around. "You know him!"

"What? No, I do not. I don't even know his name."

Stepping closer, Sharon stood very closely to her clone. "You do, don't you dare lie to me, Laura; otherwise you wouldn't have spoken the way you did." The brunette could see the shock in the redhead's face, even if she was quite good at hiding it. Sharon wanted to know if what she had in mind was true, and to do so, she had to believe what Laura told her the previous day, past and present lives. "If you were me thousands of years ago, then he has to be... Someone you were really close with?"

Swallowing, as she had been caught, Laura nodded. She was about to speak but seeing the blonde walking in, she decided agaisnt it.

"Sharon, are you alright?" Brenda asked as she approached the brunette.

"I'm just really tired, barely slept when you called." She said and then reached for the mugs and handed them to Brenda. "I have to make a call."

"Oh, it's fine. Just come over when you're done." Brenda said and turned around to walk away and as she was about to leave, she turned around. "Thank you for the coffee." She said and left.

Taking a sip of her coffee, Sharon reached for her blackberry in her blazer and dialed Christine's number. She knew her daughter wouldn't be happy to be woken up at that time, but she had to tell her. One way or the other, whatever happened, she had the right to know.

"Mom?" Christine asked, sounding more asleep than awake. "Is... Is there something... Wrong?" She yawned.

"Depends on how you look at it..."

"Are you hurt?"

"No, no I'm alright. It's just... I... I-I found him."

"Found him? Who the hell did you find to wake me up at almost five?"

"Think of certain conversation we had before I left, darling."

"Holy crap! You found dad?" Christine asked, excited and now fully awake.

"Easy girl, you don't want to fall from bed." Sharon said, as she clearly heard how her daughter sat up and could even picture the grin in her face. "Yes, I did. But there's a little problem."

"He doesn't want to see you, does he?"

"Actually it's more of a... Dead or alive situation..."

"WHAT!"

"Shhh. Keep it quiet, don't wake up your siblings." Sighing, Sharon reached for her mug again and took another sip. "I don't know if your father's one of the victims or the injured witness, and believe me, I'm praying for him to be the latest."

"Wow... You praying..." Christine, as well as the rest of the family, was aware her mother was not religious and for her to say that was a lot. "Yeah well I want him to be the one alive too... I mean, not that I want anyone to die or anything but... I'd much rather meet my dad alive than in a plastic bag, you know?"

"I know what you mean; anyway, I don't know when I'll find out but as soon as I do I'll text you."

"I better keep my phone with me then."

"Like you're ever away from it."

"Ha, ha, funny mom."

"Yes, I know, I know, no one can compare to me when I try to be funny. Anyway, I have to go, this case won't solve by itself."

"That wouldn't be a bad idea, but I guess you have to work. Love you."

"Love you, too."

Hanging up, Sharon placed the blackberry back in her blazer and finished her coffee. She then washed the cup and placed it in the cupboard; as she was done, she was then facing a very smiling Laura.

"Someone's happy." Sharon said.

Laura nodded. "Hearing you speak with your daughter made it happen. Also good to know why you reacted the way you did when you saw his photo... Christine's dad, eh?"

"And what about your mysterious blue eyed man?" Sharon asked, smirking. "You know two can play this game, Laura, and I am quite good at it if I say so myself."

"Fine, I'll tell you about him later if you tell me about him too."

"Deal."

Making their way to the murder room in silence, Sharon decided to excuse herself and go to her office to sleep for a few hours, just as much as she could before anything really took place. The autopsies were scheduled for 9.30 am, and unless there was some kind of miracle and the lab hurried more than usual, even if they were rushing considering it was preferential, or if the witness showed up early...

_Stop it, you don't know if it's him or not. It's a 50/50 situation, so do not get your hopes up. Just lay down on your couch, and sleep for a few hours, you're going to need the strengh no matter what happens. _Sharon thought as she removed her blazer and glasses, later on grabbing a blanket. Setting the alarm to go off at eight, leaving her blackberry in her desk, the brunette then laid down on the couch in her office and closed her eyes, hoping to rest as much as she could in so little time.

Waking up at eight, Sharon reached for her blackberry and stopped the alarm. She had been lucky enough to get those three hours to sleep peacefully; however, as she was reaching for her glasses, Brenda stormed into her office.

"Chief?" Sharon said, her hand stilled over her desk.

If Brenda's outburst into the office was supposed to indicate her mood, then it dramatically changed as soon as she set her eyes in the Captain.

"I didn't wake you, did I?"

Shaking her head, Sharon finally grabbed her glasses and put them on. "No, but you were close. A couple of minutes early and I would've thrown the cushion or anything near me to kick you out." Laughing at Brenda's shocked expresion, Sharon spoke again. "I would've done it, but you were lucky. Anyway, any reason to storm into my office so early in the morning?"

"The eh... The witness, he'll be here in about ten minutes and I thought you may want to do the interview with me."

"You want me to do the interview with you?"

"That's what I said, didn't I?"

"Why?"

"Why what?"

Rolling her eyes, Sharon tried to control her temper. "You storm into my office, then worry about not waking me up and now you tell me you want to interview our only witness with me. Where is Chief Johnson and what have you done with her?"

Brenda started to laugh, which didn't help with Sharon's temper.

"I meant that. What's going on?"

"I'm just trying to be nice, Captain."

"Fine, I'll be joining you for the interview in ten minutes. Happy now?"

Nodding, Brenda left the office and closed the door behind her and so then made her way to the murder room.

Sharon was alone with her thoughts, or so she believed until she spot the redhead sitting in her chair behind her desk.

"If you want to come, keep it quiet and don't do anything to distract me."

And just when Laura was going to come with a remark of her own, Sharon had left the office already as she was going to the nearest bathroom; she washed her face with cold water and then made sure her hair looked decent, as in 'I did not just wake up ten minutes ago'. As soon as she was pleased with her looks, and considering her face was make-up free was quite the achievement, she left the bathroom and walked straighted to the vending machine in the same floor. The coffee wasn't really good, but she needed her caffeine dose to be as sharp as possible during the interview; after all, no one likes to be outsmarted or left out, if not behind, in a case.

Brenda was already waiting for the brunette when she finally arrived; after a brief chat, deciding they'd ask first just general questions and then Brenda asking her questions, and later Sharon, the Chief opened the door and then both walked into the interrogation room.

The rest of Major Crimes was in the media room and none of them couldn't believe their eyes.

"Buzz, are you sure everything's working fine?" Provenza asked.

"Yeah, everything's fine." Buzz said.

"Raydor being human... Who knew the Wicked Witch was able to feel anything." Flynn said.

"Maybe, but the Chief is as shocked as Raydor." Sánchez said and they all looked again at the screens.

Meanwhile, in the interrogation room Sharon was frozen in her spot, unable to uter a word and Brenda was looking at both Sharon and the witness in disbelief, they seemed to knew each other! Although judging by that hug maybe it was more than that. As the witness finally pulled apart, he then spoke.

"Shar, are you alright?" He asked, concerned.

Sharon then opened her mouth to speak but no word came out; instead, and finally reacting, she stepped closer to him and hugged him as tightly as she could. The brunette just needed to make sure he was alive, she had to.

"Hey, I'm glad to see you too." He said.

"I thought you were... Dead. We didn't identify anyone yet and when I saw your photo..." She said whispering.

"Well, that explains your reaction." He said, and stepped back, smiling at her. "Now, what really needs an explanation is how you manage to look just like the last day I saw you."

Sharon then laughed. "You're such a flirt." She said and then looked at the blonde. "Uhm Chief? Could we have a talk in your office for a moment?"

As if coming back from wherever she was, Brenda blinked and then nodded her head.

"We won't take long, I hope." Sharon said looking at him and then left the room, closely followed by Brenda.

As soon as they were in Brenda's office, the blonde couldn't hold it for longer.

"Could you, please, enlighten me about what was going on in that room?" Brenda asked, trying not to yell.

"What I need right now is a friend, not an angry boss. If you can do that I'll explain it, and if you don't then what are we waiting for to get done with the interview?"

"Oh.. Oh.. Alright then." Brenda said and made her way to sit down in her chair behind her desk.

"I said friend, not boss." Sharon said and pointed at the chairs she was standing next to.

Nodding in agreement, Brenda sat in front of Sharon and waited for the brunette to share the story.

"I'll try to make it short and don't make it harder than it already is for me. You know I'm not good at sharing feelings, let alone with you... And what I'm about to say cannot leave this room, understood?"

"You can trust me." Brenda said, now worried.

"You can't even tell Fritz, Brenda. No one can know about this."

"Is it that serious?"

"Depends on what you consider an engagement serious."

"You're engaged to him?" The blonde asked, her dark brown eyes widened in surprise.

"I was... Years ago. He was in the Navy, and things were going so well... Or so I thought." Sharon then sighed, looking down at her hands. "Three months before the wedding, he came home and he told me that he loved me, that there would never be anyone else but me for him and that I deserved better than him because a young, beautiful and rich girl who could have anyone she wanted could do much better than a Navy Captain five years older than her."

"Sharon, I-I..." Brenda started to say but stopped as the brunette raised her hand.

"Let me finish, please." She said as she closed her eyes before she spoke again. "Three weeks later, I found out I was pregnant and I tried to contact him but it was impossible. I haven't seen him in twenty-five years and when I saw earlier today the photos... When I saw Nathan's I... I didn't know what to do... And then in the interrogation room... I couldn't even think, he's here and he's fine and..." Sharon couldn't help herself anymore as she started to sob.

Brenda decided to do the best she could which at the moment was moving her chair closer to the brunette's and hugged her. If someone had told her a week ago that the tough as nails Captain would be sobbing in her office the blonde would've sent them straight to the brunette's office to let her have fun being mean to whoever came up with the idea.

A few minutes later when Sharon finally stopped both sobbing and shaking, she pulled back and wiped her tears as she didn't really know what to do with herself at the moment. It felt good to be able to share this but embarrassing at the same time.

"May I ask you something?" Brenda inquired, and as Sharon nodded, she then asked what had been in her mind for a few minutes. "Did you have the child?"

Not trusting her voice, Sharon reached for her blackberry in her blazer and then searched for photos; finding the right one, she then handed it to Brenda hoping the blonde would be able to put two and two together and judging by the gasp she heard a few seconds later, it was obvious she did.

"Does he know about her?"

Sighing, Sharon shook her head. "No, he doesn't. I've spent the last twenty-five years trying to get ahold of Nathan to tell him about her... And that's why I reacted the way I did when I saw his photo, I thought I found him again too late."

"And does she know about him?"

"Yes, and although she's mad at him for leaving us she can't wait to meet him. Remember when I said I had to make a call, in the break room?" Brenda nodded. "I called her and now if you don't mind I have a text to send."

"What for?"

"Oh I don't know, maybe to tell my daughter her father's alive!" Sharon snapped as she reached for her blackberry and quickly sent the text to Christine. She then noticed the smirk in Brenda's face. "What are you smirking at?"

"I thought I lost the usual you somewhere in that weeping woman a few minutes ago." Brenda said and made them both laugh, and it was quite needed.

"Well, the Wicked Witch is human after all. Yes, I do know your squad refers to me as such."

"Oh well... Are you going to tell him?" Brenda really wanted to change the subject, the least she wanted was a fight.

"Of course I am, but what am I going to do? Waltz back in and say 'Hey Nate, remember us twenty-five years ago? Well, your offspring is waiting to meet you!' Really, Brenda, do you think I can tell him now?"

"No, no, you're right but you'll have to, eventually."

"I know, and I want to and I will but... I know he got married, so it'll be a bit complicated."

"He's single."

"What?"

"According to his file, he's now a retired Admiral and divorced. No children."

Sharon's green eyes widened and her mouth was hanging opened, she just couldn't believe her ears. A beeping noise made her react and noticed it was her phone, her daughter had texted her back in a very enthusiastic way.

"C'mon, we have _your _Admiral waiting for us to be interrogated. You don't want him to wait for longer, do you?" Brenda said as she stood up.

"He's not _my _Admiral!" Sharon snapped as she stood as well.

"Really? Because it seemed like... Oh what was what Charlie said... Oh! I remember, eye-sex."

"What are you even talking about?"

"Mmh, that's what you both were doing." Brenda said in a singing tone which earned her a playful smack in the arm.

"I won't even dignify that with a response." Sharon said and walked towards the door.

"Sharon?" The brunette turned her head to look at the blonde. "Do you still love him after all these years?"


End file.
